"He Can Move Mountains!"

He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” 

- Matthew 17:20

We have been praying with great faith since our babies were born on Wednesday.  I was discharged from the hospital yesterday.  I was so ready to go home, so ready to breathe some fresh air, so ready to tuck my big boys in their bed at night, so ready to sleep in my own bed, and so ready to eat non-hospital food.  BUT, I still cried big tears when I went to the NICU Saturday afternoon to give Carson and Harper a quick good-bye.  I knew I would be back in a couple hours to feed Harper and to love on Carson with one finger during his "touch time."  That still didn't make it easy to go home from the hospital without my babies.  

Harper is still eating like a champ!  She loves her bottles and is having to take maybe one feed a day in her feeding tube.  She still needs to gain some weight before they talk about allowing her to come home.  We could not be more proud of her!  She has had the sweetest nurses (well except for one that was a tiny bit grumpy.)  I was able to be at the hospital today for Harper's bathtime...she did not think it was so great.  :(  Fiesty little girl even pulled her feeding tube out a bit during her bath!  OUCH!  

Carson has been stable and getting good reports for about 48 hours now.  We are thrilled with his progress!  He is such a little fighter.  He is still a very sick little boy but I just love to visit the NICU and see a smile on his nurse's face.  He gets his own personal nurse that is only assigned to him.  Carson also has an occupational therapist that works with him around the clock.  The occupational therapist coaches me on how to touch him during his "touch times."  I can place my finger in his tiny hand and gently apply steady pressure just so he knows I'm there.  No stroking, no patting, no holding, anything like that.  The doctors have lowered the amount of pure oxygen that he is getting through the ventilator so that it is more like room air coming through the machine.  He has become a little jaundice so he has sunglasses and a lamp above his bed now.  The light is on him in the picture below.  He still has tubes in his chest to help rid the lungs of air pockets and fluid while the tears heal.  We believe God has big plans for our little guy.  He is a miracle and he continues to amaze us.

One night while we were at the hospital, Aunt Emily bravely asked Nathan and Jordan to spend the night at her house.  Does this just scream trouble to you???!??!  Cousins are so much fun!

Thank you for praying for us, especially our little Carson.  He is quite a trooper!

Happy Birthday Carson and Harper!

Wednesday, January 30, was the 34 week mark. It was a daycircled on the calendar, hoped for, prayed for, and dreamt about over the pasteleven weeks.  It was a lofty goal andone, I’m sure; our doctors never thought we would make it to. When Becca wasadmitted to the hospital they told us it would be between 7 and 19 days untildelivery. She made it 75. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone thatthose babies decided that they weren’t staying in there one single day past 34weeks! I left work Wednesday morning after a series of frantic text messagesand within three hours I was standing in the NICU as a team of doctors andnurses worked over Carson and Harper making sure every vital part of their littlebodies worked properly. Carson Malone Calvert was born at 10:45 a.m. weighing4lbs 13 ounces and measuring 18 ½ inches long. He came out kicking and screamingand it was a relief to hear his cry after months of worrying about him. HarperElizabeth Calvert was born at 10:50 a.m. weighing 5lbs 10 ounces and measuring18 ¾ inches long. She wasn’t sure she was ready to make her grand entrance andput up quite a struggle on the way out! Its crazy how many nurses and doctorswere in the room during the delivery, with each baby having their own teamwaiting to receive them.  Within 5minutes they were rushing Carson to the NICU without even stopping to show himto Becca.  They took time to weigh Harperin the room and took her around the table to show her to Becca before hertaking her back to join her brother. I was taken back to the NICU with them andbasically stood with my back against the wall as they went to work. I wasn’tallowed to get near Carson nor take his picture. It was clear that somethingwas wrong and the doctors were extremely concerned about his lungs. When Beccawas finished in recovery they took us through the NICU to see the babies on theway to her room.  Carson and Harper areon opposite sides of the NICU and while Harper has done better than expected,Carson has not. Carson has been without  amnionic fluid for the past 11 weeks. Hislungs have been a concern from the beginning, but with each passing week wegrew more optimistic that things would be fine. I guess you can’t fully prepareyourself to see your 4 pound baby fully sedated, hooked up to a ventilator, andabout a dozen other tubes and iv’s. It’s been a hard few days. Carson has tearsin both of his lungs and an open valve in his heart. He needs time to heal. Thechallenge is keeping the rest of his body in balance and working order longenough for the valve and lungs to repair themselves. We’ve not been given anytime lines. In fact, it seems to be a subject the doctors avoid during everyconversation.  For now, we are taking itone day at a time, and continuously praying for a miracle. Carson has alreadyproven himself to be a fighter. He made it over 75 days without any fluid inthe womb. If he hadn’t held on for so long his sister wouldn’t be as healthy asshe is and we would have two babies fighting for their lives. Becca was allowedto touch him with one finger tonight. Even though sedated, he squeezed her finger,kicked his leg, and moved his free arm up near his face. He needs time andplenty of prayers for healing. We have very conflicting emotions right now. Ifeel like we have both the sickest and healthiest babies in the NICU. We leaveCarson’s bed in tears and then go and feed and love on Harper. Harper is doingfantastic. She is beautiful. She is already eating fairly well and even thoughthe doctors haven’t said, I’m sure she won’t be there long. She is in a regularbed and eating half of her food from a bottle and the other half through afeeding tube. Once the tube is gone I’m sure she will be heading home.  We will do our very best to keep everyoneupdated as often as possible. We are so thankful for our friends and family(and even strangers) who have joined us in praying for these babies. When allof this is over we have a lot of favors to return. Actually, more that we couldever repay but we’ll save that for another post.  Jordan and Nathan are anxious to meet Carsonand Harper, I pray it’s not too long before they do.

 

Carson, our little fighter....

 

We do not know what tomorrow holds but we do know thesebabies were fearfully and wonderfully made. We know that ALL things work togetherfor good, for those that love the Lord. We know He heals. We know He givespeace that surpasses all understanding. We know that Jesus will never leave usnor forsake us. We are clinging to His promises and His word tonight.  

33 Weeks!

I'm 33 weeks today...so amazing. The Lord continues to bless us with weeks. We are praying for one more week plus a couple days. We still don't have a definite date for a Csection. I'm getting a little anxious that we could have 4 kids with birthdays less than a week apart. Nathan and Jordan's birthday is Feb 7 and we are beginning to get really close! Yikes! Poor kids...sharing birthday weeks. I guess Bryan and I will have a big job to make sure everyone feels super special on their birthday at our house! I think this is my 68th day in the hospital. Who would have ever thought? Thankfully my bed here in antepartum is comfortable and the hospital food hasn't been too bad. It usually just needs a little salt, pepper, and butter , then it's fit to eat. It will be a glorious day when I get to go home to my boys and Bryan and all SIX of us are all together again. Until then, I'll keep hanging in there. Thank you again to all of you that have called, visited, sent emails and text messages. Your thoughts, prayers and time mean the world to us.

While I have been watching hours and hours of TV, Bryan has been hard at work at home. Gram and PaPa came over to help finish painting the walls and move the baby furniture back into the nursery. My mom is finished with the bedding and working on some curtains. I can't wait to post a picture of the finished nursery! I don't know what we would have done if both sets of grandparents didn't live close by. They have really been amazing to take such good care of our family during this journey.

I'm posting from my phone so I can't caption the pictures but you can see that Jordan was really happy to help clean and set up the nursery...Nathan, not so much. My Nater-Tot would rather lounge in PaPa's lap! Oh goodness, we have our work cut out for us! He will be a good helper for an incentive. Marshmallows and M&M's make for a great incentive. ;)

Living for Wednesdays!

It's Wednesday again! That means I made it another full week. I am 32 weeks today which is another great milestone. Originally, this is the ultimate goal my doctor gave me. Honestly, I'm pretty sure none of the doctors expected me to make it this far. Now, they tell me that they will schedule a CSection a couple days after I make it to 34 weeks. I am having small battles with contractions pretty often but the terbutaline injections are still able to calm those down. The babies were measured on a sonogram last Thursday. Harper was estimated to be 4 pounds 4 ounces and Carson was estimated to be 3 pounds 12 ounces. I am already so proud of those two munchkins! The Perinatal Specialist showed me on the sonogram the difference between Harper's lungs and Carson's lungs. Carson's lungs are smaller. This is to be expected because he hasn't had amniotic fluid to swallow and strengthen his lungs. Please pray specifically for the development of his lungs these next two weeks. The Lord has had mercy on us and He has done more than we ever asked or imagined.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

Thank you for continuing to pray for us as we plow through this journey. We are overwhelmed with the love shown to our family.

Pastries For Parents (and Grandparents too!)

Nathan and Jordan had Pastries for Parents this morning at preschool. They get to wear PJs and think it's pretty special to eat powdered donuts for breakfast. Of course, I am still stuck in the hospital so we were thankful Gram could step in and make it a special morning for the boys. I cried big tears when Gram texted me these pictures. I don't want to feel sorry for myself but it is getting really difficult to be missing out on so many special events in Nathan and Jordan's little lives. Thankfully I know this time will pass and in the meantime, I can keep perspective when I think about keeping Harper and Carson safe. So, I wiped my tears and watched the rest of the Today show where they were talking about brands of nail polish...much less emotional.

I love these happy powdered donut faces!!!

31 Weeks and Counting!

"For nothing is impossible with God." -Luke 1:37

Jill posted that scripture in her Facebook status today and I thought, "Yes!" We are overcoming impossibilities. For God these impossibilities are just opportunities to work His miracles.

Today marks 31 weeks in my pregnancy. My Ob keeps coming in and telling us that we are defying the odds and prayers are working. God is totally taking control of these little babies, their birthday, and their health. We could not be more grateful. I was transferred over to labor and delivery again on Sunday but pulled through the scare and was able to make it back to an antepartum room yesterday. Thank goodness! My doctor wants me to make it to 32 weeks and he will most likely deliver the babies somewhere between 32 and 34 weeks...probably closer to 34 unless they come on their own before then.

In the meantime, my family and friends continue to come visit and help the hospital days go by a little faster. I think I have been here 54 days now (or something close to that.) Nathan and Jordan are little troopers. Bryan is amazing as always. My parents and Bryan's parents are sacrificing so much to help with the boys and visit me too. This is one long road but we will be forever changed.

Nathan and Jordan have gotten quite accustomed to spending time in Mommy's hospital room...bless their little hearts. Life will be back to normal again soon. This was one of their new Christmas gifts from MeMe. Such silly faces!

Christmas at Meme and Granddad’s

We waited until Uncle Jay made it in town to celebrateChristmas with the Beams. Once again, it felt strange to celebrate withoutBecca but we made the most of it. Jordan and Nathan were just happy to hang outwith their California cousins. Nathan was pumped for Uncle Jay to come in townso he could “wrestle him and trick him”. Last week Nathan was telling me thathe likes all of his uncles because they play silly with him and then he namedthem off, “Uncle Jay, Uncle Brad, Uncle Justin, Uncle Chris, and Uncle Libby”.Congratulations Aunt Libby for making Nathan’s favorite Uncle List! The boyswere pumped to get some more Batman toys and Jay and Jennifer gave them Batmanand Captain America costumes so of course they had to try them on immediately! Jordan was concerned that his Captain America costume didn't have shoes and that people would know it was him when they saw his feet. He is so funny and playing Super Hero is very serious business for both of them! Thanks for a fabulous Christmas Meme and Granddad!